IYAMD 125
He was at a loss for words. None of Jaha’s words registered. And yet, why did it feel like his insides were being turned upside down. Marsilia clenched his eyes shut, trying to quell the storm raging in his heart.
He knew just how foolishly he was behaving. He knew he was being utterly unreasonable—whether it was because he couldn’t trust Jaha or simply because he didn’t want to be apart from him.
But Marsilia had another excuse.
Last time, the goddess had hinted that a child would be born between them. Since no ritual was needed, it was possible that a child was already growing inside Jaha.
Marsilia hesitated on how to bring this up to him. Jaha had already shown strong resistance to the idea of having children. He might have even felt relieved when he learned that his mark had disappeared.
He had likely reassured himself that he wouldn’t have to bear a child. How could Marsilia now tell him that a child could be conceived without a ritual?
Of course, he understood that telling him after would be even crueler. Even so, why was it so difficult to speak? Marsilia swallowed a sigh as he watched Jaha’s puzzled expression.
If Jaha wasn’t already pregnant, there was no particular danger in this subjugation. Goblins were weak enough that even an ordinary person could handle them with a sword. Even in large numbers, they wouldn’t pose a real threat to Jaha—he had already proven that when they reclaimed the capital.
All he had to do was tell Jaha about the possibility of pregnancy and have the palace physician examine him. If he was pregnant, then he would have a legitimate reason to stay. If not, then he could go.
And yet, regardless of the pregnancy, Marsilia simply didn’t want to let him go. It was a selfish, base desire—he just didn’t want to be apart from him.
As soon as Jaha brought up the subject, Marsilia thought of the shackles he had stored somewhere in the palace. It was the most direct and effective way to keep him here, so much so that he instinctively considered it first. That was how badly he didn’t want to let him go.
But if he did that, Jaha would no longer look at him the way he did now. He might close off his heart and refuse to meet his eyes ever again. Marsilia might never again feel the warmth of his affection.
To suppress his turbulent thoughts, Marsilia let out a long sigh.
Just as he finally composed himself and opened his mouth to speak, a forkful of meat was suddenly shoved deep into his mouth. Jaha pulled the fork, leaving only the cold meat behind.
Meeting his gaze with a soft expression, Jaha spoke.
“Finish your meal first, then we’ll talk. No matter what you say, I’ve already made up my mind. So if you want to convince me otherwise, you’d better fill your stomach first.”
With that, Jaha silenced Marsilia once more with another large chunk of meat.
Sensing that the tension had eased somewhat, Serez chimed in to support Jaha’s words.
“Don’t worry. His Majesty may seem stubborn, but he’s actually quite rational. I’m sure he’s already reached a conclusion.”
Marsilia shot Serez a sharp glare, but across from him, Gerald also added his perspective.
“If the damage to the Thorton territory worsens, the number of beasts will increase significantly next year. Additionally, meat prices in the capital and nearby regions will skyrocket. Wool production might not be affected this year since the harvest is over, but next year, it will decline sharply.”
Gerald spoke from a merchant’s perspective. Even if they found alternative sources of wool next year, prices would rise significantly. That would inevitably lead to financial ruin for the already struggling northern territories.
Thorton’s wool was not only high quality but also produced in large quantities, keeping the price of woolen goods in Arhen low. If Thorton suffered great losses, it would also impact neighboring territories that processed the wool into textiles.
Marsilia listened in silence as Gerald reiterated what he already knew.
Meanwhile, Jaha had emptied his plate and even pulled over Marsilia’s untouched one. With his mouth stuffed to the brim with meat, Marsilia couldn’t even maintain a serious expression.
It was obvious that trying to look grave with puffed-up cheeks full of food would only turn him into a laughingstock.
And yet, Marsilia obediently ate everything Jaha fed him—because it made him happy.
The slight furrow of Jaha’s brow in concern, the way his gaze lingered on him as he chewed—everything about him was so endearing.
Marsilia didn’t want to disappoint him, even knowing that. So he forced himself to let go of the childish urge to throw a tantrum and roll on the floor.
“Are you full now?”
Once the plates were cleared, Jaha finally asked with a slight smile.
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s talk now.”
Marsilia rested his elbows on the now-empty table.
He turned his entire body toward Jaha, propping his chin on his interlaced fingers. His gaze sharpened with amusement.
“You’re right. As long as I’m in this position, you won’t be free from the duties of the imperial family. I understand that it’s inevitable. So I’ll allow your deployment—on one condition.”
Jaha’s eyes shifted multiple times as he listened. The sharp curve of his eyes softened slightly, and the pale irises within his pupils gradually expanded.
He studied Marsilia’s face before asking, “What’s the condition?”
“I’ll tell you when we’re alone.”
Since there was no certainty of pregnancy yet, there was no need to discuss it with Serez or Gerald. If it became certain, they could announce it then.
“…Alright.”
“Alright. Since we’re short on time, we need to plan with the expedition in mind. Serez and Gerald will select the knights who will accompany you. Serez, we can’t afford to waste manpower, so keep it within ten. Since Jaha will handle most of it anyway, choose those who can properly assist him. Assign at least two priests as well. Gerald, make sure there’s no wasted travel time. Clearing out the remaining monsters in the Thornton territory and its surroundings will take at least two weeks to a month.”
After finishing his instructions, Marsilia took Jaha’s hand.
“Until you leave, you’ll have to comfort my troubled heart.”
“Alright.”
Marsilia silenced Serez’s grumbling with a single look, then led Jaha away from the room. As they strolled leisurely through the garden, Marsilia fidgeted with Jaha’s hand before letting out a sigh and finally speaking.
“I hesitated because I didn’t know how to tell you… It was when I met the goddess.”
Marsilia conveyed the hint the goddess had left behind—that a child might have already been conceived, or that one might come in the future. He also suggested that Jaha get checked before finalizing his schedule.
“Alright. Let’s do that.”
Hearing Jaha’s straightforward response, Marsilia added another question.
“What would you think if someone was manipulating your life as they pleased?”
Jaha, who had been holding his hand quietly, tilted his head in confusion.
“What do you mean by ‘manipulating’?”
“I mean, what if someone predetermined the path you must take and forced it upon you?”
Jaha fell silent in thought before blinking quickly.
“That’s pretty normal in the Eastern Continent. It’s expected for firstborns to inherit their family’s duties, and arranged marriages with partners chosen by their parents, even without meeting them, aren’t uncommon. So I don’t really see the problem. Is it different in the Western Continent?”
He added that in many cases, families even dictated which martial arts their members had to practice, as if it were a given.
Something about his casual response made the heavy weight on Marsilia’s chest feel a little lighter. Jaha treated it as though it were no big deal, and suddenly, all of Marsilia’s agonizing worries seemed insignificant.
Was it really such a trivial matter?
Come to think of it, the same was true in the Western Continent. The Emperor had always accepted the partner chosen by the goddess without hesitation, and arranged marriages among nobles were common.
Marsilia exhaled deeply and, before he realized it, laughed.
“You’re right. Now that I think about it, the Western Continent isn’t much different from the Eastern Continent.”
Jaha watched him intently before smiling quietly.
“I’m glad. It looks like you’ve found some relief. Your face looks more at ease.”
“Yes, thanks to you, I realized how narrow my perspective had been.”
Seeing Jaha’s puzzled expression, Marsilia chuckled. The anger that had been plaguing him ever since meeting the goddess seemed to melt away like snow. He suddenly felt drained, as if he had been worrying over nothing.
So, while they were on the topic, he told Jaha about everything the goddess had said, as if it were nothing important—the story of how she took the form of his mother to give birth to him and how the ordeal with the dragon had been her trial for him.
What had felt so difficult to speak of before now came out effortlessly.
Jaha simply listened without interruption.
Just voicing his worries lightened his heart. He could breathe more easily and even smile naturally.
It was all thanks to Jaha.
Marsilia found himself once again grateful that this man was his partner.
For a long time, even smiling had felt like an act he had to force—but now, a natural, easy smile lingered on his lips.
Letting out a soft sigh, Marsilia slowly ran his hand over his chest.
As if a weight that had been pressing down on him had finally been lifted.
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