TBML 57

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁣⁣⁣⁠⁣⁣⁠⁠⁣⁠⁠⁠⁠⁣⁣⁣⁣⁠⁠⁣⁠⁣He had hugged Hyunhak out of a survival instinct, like when you fall into water and grab whatever you can to stay alive, but when he came to his senses, he was shocked by what he had done.

Just moments ago, he’d been freaking out as if he were about to faint because a stranger had grabbed his ankle, and yet here he was, throwing his whole body at Hyunhak. Yet, the moment he leaned on Hyunhak, the fear that had been paralyzing his reason subsided considerably, and he managed to stay conscious.

Though he’d been desperate when he hugged Hyunhak, once he came to his senses, he felt embarrassed. What was more, he was a gentleman of high standing, someone he wouldn’t dare even touch the hem of his robe.

He pushed him away, but fearing he might provoke his anger or cause Hyunhak to stumble, Yiyeon was cautious even as he pushed him away. He didn’t even have the strength to do so properly. It was more of a half-hearted shove, just a light touch on his shoulder. Yet Hyunhak stepped back with a dazed expression.

The faces of the two, now separated, were red. Yiyeon felt a rush of heat and panic as his breathing became chaotic, while Hyunhak’s face burned with a mysterious heat and shock.

Hyunhak placed his hand on the shoulder Yiyeon had just pushed. It had been a push with no force behind it, yet the spot where his hand touched felt stiff. That contact just moments ago felt completely different from when he had carried Yiyeon on his back.

It felt a bit like the sensation after racing across a snowy plain, or like the moment he’d taken his first bite of prey, yet it was also as dizzying as the first time he’d ever been caught in a ho-mang. It was an indescribable sensation.

“……I will also kneel before Lord Zao and apologize.”

Yiyeon bowed his head as he pulled away from Hyunhak’s embrace. Even after he had slipped away, Hyunhak did not straighten his arms; he remained in the exact position he had been in just moments before.

It was a pity that Yiyeon had finally been able to breathe properly.

Saying this might make it seem as though he wished for the small human to die, but if Yiyeon had remained unconscious for longer, wouldn’t he have held him in his arms even longer?

Hyunhak alternated his gaze between Yiyeon – who had slipped from his embrace and was now tidying his disheveled hair and clothes – and his own arms, which remained wide open. Then he glanced briefly in the direction Zao had stormed off.

Even the crow would need time to calm his startled heart. Besides, if he went after him now, Zao would surely just throw a tantrum and caw angrily. He didn’t want to subject Yiyeon to that ear-piercing nagging, and it didn’t seem necessary.

When Yiyeon said he would go see him in person to apologize, Hyunhak shook his head and replied loudly so that Yiyeon could hear him.

“No. It’s fine!”

Then he suddenly pulled Yiyeon into a hug. When Hyunhak suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him toward him, Yiyeon froze in place.

“……My Lord?”

“It’s fine.”

“Um, My Lord? About this…….”

“It’s fine.”

“No…… that…….”

What exactly was fine about this? It wasn’t fine at all.

Even before all this started happening to him, Yiyeon had never been in such close physical contact with another person. Even with Dusoe, he’d never once been in such an intimate embrace with another man before that incident. And yet, despite having just thrown a fit moments ago at the mere touch of a man’s hand, Yiyeon now found himself completely enveloped in Hyunhak’s embrace.

Yiyeon tried his best to resist, but Hyunhak kept hugging him and insisted all along that it was fine. Strangely enough, though his embrace made Yiyeon’s face flush with embarrassment, it wasn’t as repulsive as Dusoe’s, nor was it as frightening as the touch from that man, Zao, just a moment ago. Instead, it felt comforting. It felt like a simple hug, just as the word implies. A hug given out of affection, without any ulterior motive.

Even so, he is a nobleman. With that thought, Yiyeon tried to push Hyunhak away bit by bit, but he was unmovable. Unable to push him away, Yiyeon found himself unintentionally cradled in Hyunhak’s arms, soothed like a small child.

Pat, pat – as if he were lulling a newborn to sleep or comforting a child who’d fallen and hurt themselves – Hyunhak gently stroked his back as he repeated “It’s fine” the entire time. As he lay in his arms, he felt dazed. His clumsy embrace was so warm, and the touch on his back was the most gentle and painless he’d ever felt in his life.

Hyunhak’s “It’s fine” meant he didn’t have to apologize to Zao, but to Yiyeon, it felt as though Hyunhak was telling him that everything was fine. It was a comfort as pure as a child’s, yet odd and awkward.

How could he not want to enjoy that tenderness? But Yiyeon put on a brave face. And with good reason. If he didn’t gently push him away, Hyunhak would spend the whole day hugging him like this and telling him it was fine.

“Please… please let go of my arm, My Lord….”

As Yiyeon twisted his body and used his aching arm as an excuse to pull away, Hyunhak reluctantly withdrew his arm. His face felt hot. It wasn’t because of any sinister ulterior motive; it [Read on]was simply the heat from their bodies mingling that made him flushed.

Just as being close to someone on a hot day makes you feel even hotter. It seemed Hyunhak had once again recklessly stoked the fire in the hearth.

As their bodies separated, Yiyeon felt awkward, and Hyunhak felt a pang of regret.

Feeling embarrassed, Yiyeon shifted his gaze nervously from side to side. His eyes fell upon the items Zao had tossed aside before leaving. The clothes were stiff, as if they’d just been washed, though there were traces of having been worn. It was a jacket that had been quilted with thick batting, not content with just layering it several times to keep him warm.

Only then did Yiyeon realize that Zao had come to help him put on these clothes. It seemed he had deliberately brought them along, which made Yiyeon feel even more guilty for having screamed.

Hyunhak had said it was fine, but Yiyeon thought to himself that he absolutely had to apologize to Zao.

Hyunhak, who had momentarily forgotten all about Zao, was reminded by Yiyeon’s gaze of why the crow had visited this room and what had happened. Hyunhak picked up the garment Yiyeon was staring at and held it up against his small shoulders. He had sent Zao because he didn’t have the confidence to pick out something suitable for Lee Yeon himself, and it seemed a little too big. But he really liked its thick fabric.

“Put it on.”

When Hyunhak handed him the garment, Lee Yeon took it with both hands, held it up, and thanked him. But far from changing into it, he just clutched it and stared at the floor.

“Put it on quickly.”

“That is….”

Zao had once said that humans die from the cold and die from the heat. No matter how much he stoked the fire, Hyunhak was worried about his thin, furless skin, so he’d even made a humble request to Zao to get this for him. But when Yiyeon hesitated to put it on, Hyunhak frowned c

“Should I help you put it on?”

“Huh?”

Hyunhak, who had now become adept at dressing humans on his own, asked with great confidence. When they first met in human form, Yiyeon had helped him adjust his clothes, but now he was skilled enough to do the same for Yiyeon.

However, unlike Hyunhak’s smugness, Yiyeon jumped in surprise at his words. For a moment, Yiyeon thought his ears must have failed him and that he’d misheard. He was in no state to even help Hyunhak get dressed, yet this nobleman was offering to dress him.

Even though they were both men and he was as naked as could be, it was a question that struck Yiyeon like a bolt from the blue. He hesitated, embarrassed to strip down completely in front of a complete stranger. Having grown up in the village, Yiyeon had always been careful not to reveal a single inch of skin in front of the villagers, behaving with the modesty of a noble lady, for fear of being unfairly criticized or put through an ordeal.

No matter how much Hyunhak tried to put him at ease, there was no way Yiyeon, crammed into such a small room and pressed right up against him, would lift his upper garment.

Unaware of Yiyeon’s complex inner turmoil as he flushed crimson with embarrassment, Hyunhak tried to snatch the garment from his hand. Yiyeon clung to it desperately. But with only one arm and strength weaker than a child’s, Hyunhak could have easily taken it from him.

But he didn’t. On the contrary, thinking that Yiyeon’s desperate refusal to let go stemmed from doubt about his own previous, unkempt appearance, Hyunhak straightened his shoulders proudly and showed him the sash on his robe, now expertly tied. It was a way of showing off that he could do it well in his own way.

Though they sat side by side, holding [stolen content]the same garment, their minds were worlds apart. A struggle – if it could even be called that – unfolded.

“I-I’ll put it on myself.”

He wasn’t a three- or four-year-old child; the very idea of having a grown man dress him was unbearable. Yiyeon’s face turned red as he pulled the garment from Hyunhak’s hands.

It might be one thing if he were unconscious, but he was perfectly lucid. Yiyeon had both dignity and a sense of shame, especially since his body still bore marks all over. What was so interesting about exposing himself to Hyunhak again? Showing himself like that would only be shooting himself in the foot.

Yiyeon bit his lip as he clutched the tattered sash of his own clothes instead of the clean clothes Zao had brought him.

“It hurts.”

Yiyeon was flustered by Hyunhak’s way of speaking, which completely ignored the context. “It hurts, so I’ll help you.” While this might be a natural reaction for someone driven by mere pity, Yiyeon had been through too much to accept such kindness so readily. Weighed down by his own heavy thoughts, he bowed his head like a delicate lily-of-the-valley and politely declined Hyunhak’s offer in a subdued voice.

“It is alright. I apologize, My Lord. I can handle it perfectly well on my own.”

“All right.”

Hyunhak nodded readily, as if Yiyeon’s words were no big deal. Yet even after that, he showed no intention of leaving and continued staring at Yiyeon. He was staring so attentively that it felt as if he could see right through the crown of his head, which was exposed as he bowed. Yiyeon cautiously called out to Hyunhak.

“Um… My Lord?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Just a moment…”

Yiyeon who was about to convey his business, kept his mouth shut. He couldn’t exactly tell a nobleman to step out to change his clothes he grabbed the sash of his clothes tightly and bit his lip. Yiyeon racked his brain to figure out how to send Hyunhak away without offending him.

There was no way he’d come up with an answer. In fact, a nobleman’s orders were to be obeyed without question; anyone who argued or made unnecessary remarks was sure to be punished.

Just as Yiyeon was rolling his eyes in frustration, unable to find a solution, a loud cawing of a crow echoed from the courtyard.