IYAMD 111

IYAMD 111

As he looked at the roof, he thought he knew where he was. The small gazebo that Marsilia’s mother had liked. He remembered the small tree next to it with a swing tied to it.

It was a strange feeling. He didn’t want to be apart from him to the point where it felt as if it didn’t matter that they were outside.

What kind of emotion is this called?

Jaha pulled his lips away and placed his hand on his cheek.

“Marsilia.”

He buried his face in Jaha’s palm and closed his eyes. The smile had disappeared from the face of the man who always smiled, and for some reason, it upset him.

“I love you.”

The word “love” felt strange. Before he said it out loud, he couldn’t quite grasp what kind of emotion it was, but after saying it a few times, it became a feeling that pierced deeply into his chest.

Every time he said he loved him, his heart would stir, and his face would flush.

Jaha now seemed to understand that this was the overwhelming sensation he had been feeling.

“I like you, Mar.”

His eyes burned. Unlike the sensation of fire on his body, his eyes heated up with a sharp, stinging warmth. Discovering similar feelings in the man who opened his eyes, Jaha quickly kissed his cheek.

After finding his lips buried in his palm, Jaha kissed him again and whispered softly,

“I’ll keep telling you. So you won’t feel uneasy. So you won’t forget.”

He let out a small sigh. His trembling breath flowed down his wrist and settled in his chest. His anxiety transferred to Jaha, but Jaha didn’t show it.

He quietly took the anxiety and buried it deep in his chest, hoping that it might relieve him, even just a little.

“I like you, Jaha. I don’t care about soulmates.” How hard those words must be for him. Jaha smiled softly. I know. He whispered back, barely audibly, and the man leaned in again to kiss him.

The passion from earlier was gone, replaced by a tender kiss. The intense flame that had once burned brightly now softly warmed their bodies.

The act of sucking and licking each other’s lips was touching. The more he thought about this feeling, the more he felt himself falling deeper into it. He wonder if Marsilia feels the same.

“Jaha, I love you.”

He whispered as if in reply. When Jaha smiled slightly, only then did a laugh escape from between his lips.

He closed his eyes as he leisurely placed his arm around his shoulder and felt the man’s hand slowly sliding down his chest.

Wouldn’t it be okay? Maybe this was just a fleeting moment of anxiety, something that would pass with time over the course of his long life. And even if it didn’t—if the anxiety never faded—wouldn’t it still be okay as long as they were together?

Jaha began to dream of a life with him without any worries. And he decided to believe that one day he would be able to say that life was beautiful.

A warm hand that had stopped trembling slipped into Jaha’s clothes and caressed his chest. His body relaxed under the touch.

Jaha closed his eyes, letting out a trembling breath. Every time the man’s hand caressed his bare skin, the faint flame slowly came back to life.

Doing something like this in the middle of the garden. Normally, he would have been disgusted by this, but now he didn’t care. He just wanted to touch him more and more.

He came to understand Marsilia who wanted to continuously do it. Every time the man’s hand touched him, his body became hotter and hotter. Every time a weak moan came out, he found myself moving his waist.

The pain was gone but the tingling sensation in his whole body never went away. On the contrary, it only grew stronger every time Marsilia’s hand touched it.

“Huh…, yeah….”

Jaha shook his head and rubbed the back of it head on the hard floor.

“My body-…ugh..feels weird.”

His body trembled with an unsettling sensation and his waist kept twisting. His lower body that was in pressing against Marsilia’s felt tight and aching. And his breathing became increasingly ragged.

“It’s. S-Strange…Mar.”

Jaha called out to him, unintentionally sounding as if he were sobbing. Marsilia, breathless at Jaha’s voice, smiled in satisfaction.

“It’s the feeling I get every time I hold you, Jaha.”

The sensation grew even more as his words reached Jaha’s ears. He leaned down and whispered in Jaha’s ear.

“I am glad you discovered this feeling.”

Jaha released the hand that was holding him and covered his face, wanting to hide his flushed expression. When he peeked at him through his fingers, the man smiled slightly, brushing his lips gently against the back of his hand.

“Are you embarrassed?”

“Hum….”

“I am so happy.”

Marsilia’s eyes were filled with joy once again. Jaha whispered, looking into his eyes, which held both the trees and the sunlight.

“I’m happy because you’re happy.”

His softly fluttering eyes were beautiful. He was lovely. Jaha took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts once more.

“It’s okay. It will be okay.”

Until everything becomes certain, anxiety will take root somewhere, but Jaha vowed to uproot it whenever it arose.

He promised himself that he would pull out everything that bloomed for him with his own hands.

…

Since that day, Jaha no longer hesitated to sleep with Marsilia. Without hesitation, the two indulged in each other, often staying up through the night. During this time, Jaha experienced exhaustion for the first time. It felt as if all his strength drained away, and a flash of lightning flickered before his eyes, nearly sending him into a daze.

Seeing Marsilia’s joy, Jaha too felt a surge of happiness. As he clung to him, trying to catch his breath, Jaha trembled from the sensations he had never felt before in his own body. Overcome with a deep sense of satisfaction, he endured, holding Marsilia close to fight off the passionate urge that followed.

“Will there ever come a day when this becomes familiar?”

Jaha whispered with a groan, and Marsilia responded with a smile.

“I don’t know. It’s not familiar to me either.”

He kissed Jaha’s sweating forehead and smiled.

“We’ll get used to it together. Until then, hang in there, Jaha.”

The affair that began that night did not end even after staying up all through the night. When morning arrived and the sounds around them became more chaotic, they still did not part from each other. Neither wanted to let go.

However, Marsilia was a busy man. Reluctantly, they eventually separated, and although he felt a pang of longing, knowing they would always be together made it bearable. Jaha gradually realized the feelings Marsilia had always expressed toward him—the feeling of no longer caring about the eyes of others.

Now, even in the presence of others, he wanted to hold his hand, and he no longer pushed him away when he approached. The glances of people passing through the corridor no longer mattered. Now, in Jaha’s eyes, only the men who gave him his attention remained.

“Ahem. Excuse me, you two. I know you’re fond of each other, but could visit our site you please focus?” Jaha finally tore his gaze away from the man and looked at Serez. Sitting across from them, Serez had an expression of annoyance as he observed the two of them. After meeting Jaha’s eyes, he smirked mischievously.

“Where were we?”

At Marsilia’s question, Serez’s face turned sullen.

“We were discussing announcing that His Majesty had found his soulmate and preparing for the ceremony.”

“How was the issue with the High Priest solved? Without the High Priest, who will validate the union?”

“The temple will soon appoint a new High Priest. They said it will happen within a few days, so we need to hurry on our side as well.”

Marsilia scratched his chin thoughtfully, his expression turning serious.

“Honestly, I would like to do it right away, but isn’t the punishment of the traitors and the welcome ceremony for the returned knights more urgent?”

The knights had returned with the dragon’s head. That day, the streets of the capital were filled with flower petals, and the citizens’ cheers were overwhelming. Jaha, who participated in the welcoming ceremony as Serez’s subordinate, nearly lost his senses from the intense reactions of the crowd.

Since the knights who had gone to the traitors’ territories had not yet returned, the welcoming ceremony was postponed. Seemingly concerned about this, he continued in a serious tone.

“I still think it’s best to announce that I have found my soulmate.”

Serez nodded in agreement.

“I also think it’s better to make the announcement before the Archduke’s curse manifests. That’s why I’m rushing the ceremony.”

That man was quite blunt. Even though the topic was sensitive, he directly mentioned it, something Jaha and Marsilia had never dared to discuss openly.

After pausing for a moment, Serez stared intently at Jaha and Marsilia.

“I don’t want things to go wrong between you two. His Majesty has never been this gentle before, and I’ve never seen him like this. I want to hurry for my own future too.”

Marsilia laughed as though he couldn’t believe it, while Jaha furrowed his brow. Although he didn’t mind it, the idea of having a child without any plans felt unsettling. He couldn’t deny that there was some fear, despite not disliking the idea.

Noticing Jaha’s expression, the man quietly asked.

“If you don’t want it, you can say so. What do you want to do?” He was indirectly implying that it was fine not to have a child. But, of course, that wasn’t really an option. Jaha glared lightly at the man and responded firmly.

“Let’s do it.”

A man who draws his sword must cut something down.

“Announce it and proceed with the ceremony. As soon as possible.”

If this could ease his anxiety, having a child was not a problem for Jaha. Seeing the man’s forehead smooth out, he believed it was the right choice. So, he decided to trust that there would be no problems.

But, as always, life does not go as planned. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as expected.