PMEVBO 122

To be honest, I hadn’t been particularly interested in treating the virus until now. I had only ended up creating the vaccine for the cure somewhat coincidentally, as it was a reward for sub-quests.

But once I was actually cured, I understood

Brainwashing virus. I knew exactly which parts of my memory it had been distorting.

The memory of killing Iser for the main quest, the Hayut Massacre triggered by that shock, and… even that Iser hated me.

To think I believed all of that so blindly…

…I feel like I’ve been played.

But it wasn’t entirely a feeling of disgust.

“……How did you know it was me?”

The finger touching Iser’s lips tickled. Iser [Read on]lay quietly beneath me. His eyes, wet with worry and anxiety, rippled like night waves.

How can those be the eyes of someone who hates me?

If the brainwashing hadn’t worn off, I would have simply assumed his acting was top-notch and wouldn’t have dug any deeper. But now, I couldn’t dare think that way. The image of Iser, who couldn’t take his eyes off my face even right before he died, was now vivid.

“I didn’t know from the start.”

I released the hand holding his chin and continued speaking.

“At first, I just thought it was strange. The attendant was someone I’ve never seen before, but my eyes were drawn to you.”

“…….”

“I became certain before I lost consciousness.”

The person who helped me just before I fainted at Chepony Castle. I didn’t see his face until the very end, but I immediately recognized it as Iser. The touch and size I felt when I held his hand were simply Iser’s.

I looked down at his hands. When he sensed my gaze, Iser clenched his fist.

How could I not know?

I’ve held those hands so many times.

The same was true for the hand that had so sincerely patted my back. Iser was the only one who would pat a grown man like me. At least, that was the case in this world.

The attendant who helped me was similar in build to Iser. He was attending to banquets, yet he did not smell of alcohol or food. He didn’t even have a body odor.

The same was true for Iser, who appeared just before I fainted. It was definitely Iser, but I couldn’t smell the scent that usually emanated from him. Now I could smell it, but I had no idea how he managed to do it.

“Once I thought of the attendant as you, all the things I had felt all this time made sense.”

As I looked up, my eyes immediately met Iser’s.

“I answered your question, so now you answer me.”

“…….”

“What did you do to your face? What did you do to make only your face change like that?”

I borrowed the power of the system to use another body for a moment. In contrast, Iser’s body remained the same, but only his face had changed to look like a different person.

I only regained my memories of the experiment log after the brainwashing wore off. Now that I knew just how horribly his extraordinary healing powers could be abused, I was anxious.

As I looked at him as calmly as possible to avoid showing my anxiety, Iser lowered his eyes.

“You are right. I made it that way with my ability.”

“……How?”

“I healed it while my facial shape was altered.”

Altered…?

…He called it altered, but isn’t that essentially saying he ruined it?

He ruined his face with his own hands…Then how did he return to his original state?

Never mind. I knew that without even asking.

I didn’t know where to even begin. I was too stunned, helpless and devastated.

Then he grabbed my hand. Because his two hands were holding mine tightly, I could barely see it.

Your hands feel like ice.

Iser had always had a low body temperature. But now, it was unusually cold.

“……Are you angry at me?”

“Yes, I am.”

At that moment, Iser’s face stiffened noticeably. Even [visit our site]the warm glow of the candlelight could not hide the pallor of his face. I could feel his hands trembling.

…I can’t even get angry at this guy.

I let out a long sigh. And judging by how the strength in his hands, which had been clinging to mine like a lifeline, slowly drained away, he probably mistook the meaning of my sigh.

I watched his hands slip away for a moment, then grabbed one of them and intertwined our fingers. Then, I pressed my lips against the back of his hand.

“Why are you so scared? Did I act too scary?”

I felt his fingers tighten around mine. Iser mumbled as he covered his face with his other hand.

“…You said you were angry at me. But why are you being so sweet?”

“Yes, I am angry. It’s just that I have priorities.”

“…What are your priorities?”

“You.”

Iser froze. When I pulled the hand covering his face, he followed without resistance.

“Why do you think I’m angry?”

Iser looked at me silently. I chuckled and gently rubbed his cheek with the back of my hand.

“It’s because you mistreated your body, you idiot.”

“…….”

“After making me read the experiment log, if you act like this, don’t you think my heart would hurt?”

Iser’s hand clutched my knee weakly.

“…Do you still pity me? Even though you’ve been trapped here for six years because of me?”

He asked gloomily as he stroked my knee. His long eyelashes fluttered.

‘‘So you knew after all.”

I couldn’t be sure exactly how much he knew just from hearing those words. However, one thing was certain…Iser knew that I had revived him.

How he had come to find me at Chepony Castle, how he recognized me even though my body had changed, and how he appeared to help me whenever I needed him…There were countless things I wanted to ask. But Iser’s hand was still cold and trembling.

“Why is that your fault? It was my choice.”

After saying it, I paused without realizing.

It’s something you wanted to do.

I didn’t know why, of all times, memories related to divine power surfaced. I consciously cut myself off from thinking about it.

“…That’s not a choice. It’s a coercion created by the situation.”

Iser let out a bitter chuckle

“A person died right before your eyes. In a situation like that, how could you have pretended not to know?”

“….”

“Besides, you didn’t know back then that you would have to pay this price.”

It seemed he had been harboring such thoughts ever since he was revived. I stroked his cold cheek and chose my words carefully.

“You consider my situation so well, so why don’t you consider my feelings?”

“…Feelings?”

From the way Iser talked, you’d think I was some kind of great philanthropist.

“I’m sorry I didn’t live up to your expectations, but I’m selfish.”

“….”

“If it hadn’t been you who died in front of me, I wouldn’t have been able to go that far. I didn’t just bring a dead person back to life; I brought you back because it was you.”

The system had said that I had to hand it over for six years to revive Iser, so there was no way I would have done that for just anyone. It was only because it was Iser that I could willingly do it.

“Back then, I thought that if I could just save you, I didn’t care what price I had to pay. It’s the same now.”

I bent my upper body forward while still kneeling. Then, I gently bumped my forehead against his and asked,

“Even so, was bringing you back just something I was forced to do?”

“……How could it be fine? You’ve been trapped in a place like this for six years.”

The time spent in Hell was by no means good. But when I considered that all that time was the price to pay to save Iser, it felt different.

“If I was able to save you just by spending a mere six years here, then it’s a good deal.”

I smiled and continued.

“I’m glad you’re alive, and glad that I’m the one who saved you.”

“…….”

“I mean it. Please believe me.”

Iser remained silent for a while with his eyes closed. His Adam’s apple bobbed.

He slowly opened his eyes, and said in a hoarse voice.

“…I thought that if the brainwashing wore off and your memories returned, I would be hated.”

“Is that so? I thought you wanted to get revenge on me.”

“What?”

Iser flinched in surprise.

“……Why would I get revenge on you?”

His genuinely surprised expression was amusing.

“No, more importantly, if you thought that way, then why–”

As I kissed his soft lips, I could feel his body turn rigid. Our interlocked fingers tightened so much I could feel the bones. The hand gripping my knee tightened as well.

I smiled and said.

“I love you.”

“…….”

“I loved you even when I thought you wanted me dead.”